2.2 Do You Exist?

Think about whether you are or not—do you exist? In other words, are you a being? Thinking about being is the same thing as thinking about is. How do you define the word is? Well, to jump ahead a little I can say that only a being is. This may seem like stupid word play but when we talk about being and is we are really talking about our relationship to our circumstances, and, even more profoundly, whether we are or whether we are not. “Is” is where we are right now. It is the only time that matters because it is the only time that actually is. Someone who is a Christian, in other words someone on the Right, knows that what he does in the present is what is important because it is the only point in time where he can act. Someone on the Left thinks that doing what appears to be needed now to get the outcomes he thinks best is a better way. The Christian, who faces what is head-on, is a being by definition. Those on the left, who justify their actions based on outcomes they envision, are not facing “is” head-on; I do not think it a stretch of logic to say that they are not beings.

Do you feel like the person you look like? When you look in the mirror does the person looking back at you seem like the way that you think of yourself? I shave almost everyday and seldom think about what I see in the mirror, but now and again when I see myself in a mirror my first thought is that I do not look like what I think I should look like. There is a human being not visible in the mirror living inside what I see. I wonder if others feel this way. Maybe I am the only one who feels that I am being hidden inside the way I look. People say things like, “he’s comfortable in his own skin”. I am pretty comfortable in mine, but I do wonder if that statement means that some people look in the mirror and never have even a fleeting feeling that there is something to them that is not visible. Do they see themselves only as they appear in the mirror? I especially wonder about this when some celebrity or politician does something especially narcissistic but seems to have no shame about it. Perhaps they see themselves as beautiful or handsome, smart, and important. If that is the way they see themselves, then lying or acting in childish or selfish ways could seem to be perfectly fine behavior. How can we see ourselves for what we really are if we cannot see beyond what we see in the mirror? I suspect it is insanity to not see what we are.

I say that because what I do not see in the mirror are all of the people I have slighted, all of the people I have offended, and all of the bad things I have done. It seems like a sane person would know what they really were inside. I know that the tall grey-haired guy that I see has done some good things (and I do look the way I look so that too is a part of my circumstance), but I also know that my life would be a total disaster if I had to answer for everything I have done. Everyone is like that. We have all done and/or thought things that are wrong. What I feared (I used the past tense intentionally) is that I will somehow have to pay for all of the bad stuff I did or thought. I realize that would be impossible. I cannot go back in time and correct an insensitive remark that hurt someone else. Sure I can apologize if they are still alive, but I did the damage and it cannot be undone. As we stumble through life we make all kinds of these mistakes. We all do. It seems like circumstances work out in ways that challenge us in ways that we have never faced before. How can that be? Circumstances seem to be guided by some kind of an invisible force. One of the Bible verses that first opened my eyes to what circumstance actually is, is what God said when asked who He was. He said, “I am that I am.” Which means that somehow God is is, and, even more mind-bending, God is circumstance. So when I fear that my circumstances will unfold in a way that punishes me for the things I have done wrong, I am really fearing God. This is what the Bible means by fear of God is the beginning of knowledge.

Sometimes we do not take ancient wisdom at face value. Fear of God is the beginning of knowledge because God is and God is our circumstances. We may not be able to see all of the things we have done wrong in a mirror, but knowing that those things are quite visible to God is the start of being self-aware. Before going further, note that self-awareness in this sense is at odds with the popular idea of self-realization. The former results from knowing the darkness that exists inside all of us. The latter is based on the mistaken idea that we are basically good and can somehow self-correct if we just dig deeper into ourselves.

If people are not self-aware, then they do not have the kind of knowledge that matters. They may be really smart and may know all kinds of useful things, but if they cannot see that they just did something really stupid, selfish, or bad are they not incomplete in some important way? Are they really fully developed people? Are they sane? If they do not realize that they are interfacing with circumstances that are not random, then they must think they can somehow alter their circumstances without consequence, without circumstances adjusting to deal with their ignorance and self-centered nature. I theorize that such people are human, but not human “beings” because they do not realize there is more and less to them than they see in a mirror.

In the past (and in some cultures today), the “masses” were treated as though their individual lives were only important for how they supported the lives of the people at the top of their cultures, the rulers. The king, queen, chief, tsar, or emperor was chosen by circumstance to be the ruler; everyone else was less than him or her. I wonder if the typical serf or slave could see himself as a unique individual, or if he only thought of himself as a subject who could never be more than what he was. Did a peasant in ancient Persia think of himself as a unique individual with as much of a right to live as the king? Or did he see himself as something less than a king who had to live out his life in support of whatever the king decreed? As far as I can tell, ancient kings sent men into battle without much regard for their lives. It was the soldier’s duty to fight for the king and to die if necessary, nothing more and nothing less. They were expected to be something less than the king. Our Constitution is based on the idea that all men are created equal, so if these subjects were treated as something less than equal to another man, and even believed they were less than another man, then our Constitution would seem to them to be amazing, and quite wrong. Our Constitution is based on the idea that every man needs to be free to face his circumstances, to have the opportunity to face them without interference from others. Whether a man realizes it or not, he has the potential to be not just a human trapped in circumstances, like a serf, but a human meeting his circumstances head-on, armed with the knowledge that they are his circumstances; they are his opportunities and challenges designed specifically for him to learn and grow. His circumstances are what enable him to “be” when he stops fighting them, and fights within them. I like calling such men “human beings”. They are no longer savages, barbarians, serfs, or kings.

A machine, or a dog, can remember, but memory is not what makes us each a unique human being. If you are a human being you live within your circumstances and you resist the temptation to think that you are only what you see in the mirror. I do not write this lightly or to offend, but it seems to me it must be said: those who fight their circumstances and think themselves wise and right are not human beings. They are human and look like human beings, but they are not. By fighting their circumstances and ignoring what is really their nature they are not dealing with what is and are rejecting God. If you reject God then you are setting yourself apart from “is” and are rejecting the whole idea of “being”. All that is is of God. In some very real way these humans are not actually in existence. I do not say this with complete understanding and I say it with humility and respect for God and for you. I hope it comes through that way. God chooses whom He chooses to “be” through circumstance. So you cannot choose to “be” any more than you chose to be born. You can surrender to your circumstances, but the surrender must be unconditional.

Here I must reemphasize that those who are “not”, are not human beings. At some level I do not pretend to understand, they do not exist. Which is why they cannot prevail over those who are human beings. This explains many things. People on the Left are immune to logic because their thinking rests on nothing. People on the Left continue to think that man has all the answers despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. They cannot see what is plainly there to see. None of this changes the fact that in an instant those who are not can become beings. That is what is meant by being born again or saved.

I have heard and read many explanations about what the Left seeks. The confusion about the goal of the Left begins with the confusion about what the Right is. The Right is not about small government or even the Constitution. The Right is Christianity, and is about “being”. The left does not really care about race, the little guy, wealth redistribution, the planet, or gay marriage. The Left is what is not, and is opposed to all that is. The Left is chaos. The Left is cruel and unforgiving. The Left lies because that is part of the nature of man. The goal of the Left is a return to barbarism and Godlessness so they must attack and eliminate Christianity. Part of the strategy the Left has employed is to create the confusion about what the Right actually is. The Left wants the world to be governed by men and to keep as many people as possible in the dark about Christianity as possible. The Leftist governments of the world do not kill Christians because they are different; they kill Christians to try to keep the rest of their population in the dark. There is of course hope for the Left but it does not lie on the left. Those on the Left can become beings—in fact that is where all beings start out, as fallen men. There is a power on the Left and he wants as many men as possible.

We all only deal with what is in the current moment. How long is the current moment? Sometimes it can seem to last a lifetime, but most of the time the present moment just slips by unnoticed. Staying in touch with reality means that we stay in touch with our present moment. It is the only way to be a “being”, and to exist.

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